Thursday, April 16, 2009

For the Technologically Minded...

RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed..

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7.. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes..
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

- GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.

Because He Lives!

8 comments:

jenniferw said...

Fantastic! It's been years since I've seen that. So good to be reminded. You're spot on as usual, Tracie m'dear.

nikkipolani said...

Boy, you've nailed it! I was just thinking about so many of my defects today and wondering how the repair would go. Thank you for this.

daffy said...

A recall with a difference!
Sounds good to me!
It warms the heart just reading it!

Connie said...

This is great Tracie! Did you create it? I would love to send this to some friends...Let me know if it is okay!

rhymeswithplague said...

Very good post, Tracie!

Put on your "thick skin" (also known as the whole armor of God) at once, as some may want to kill the messenger on this one.

thedailydish said...

Too clever! did you write this??

Rosezilla said...

I can see this resonated with you as it did with me! No, I didn't write it. I don't know who did, or I'd give credit. It was passed on to me in an email and I impulsively put it on here. Feel free to use it if you wish!

Merle said...

Dear Tracie ~~ Like the others, I really enjoyed your post. It says it all in a nutshell, doesn't it?
Thans for your comment and I am glad you enjoyed the jokes. I am feeling much better now, thank God.
Take care, Love, Merle.

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